Your Facebook page after you announce the arrival of your baby:
“What a tiny little bundle of cuteness!”
“How precious! Make sure to savor these days- they go by so fast!”
“Babies are such a blessing. xoxo”
“Congratulations! Enjoy every moment!”
Enjoy Every Moment. The 3 words we never want any new parents to hear. It is so unrealistic, and patronizing, to tell someone who has just had a baby that they must now enjoy each and every moment.
Do you enjoy each moment of your life? Do you go from waking up with a smile on your face to having your blissful head hit the pillows at night as you drift back to sleep, having had yet another absolutely perfect day?
Yeah, we didn’t think so.
So, let us burst this bubble then: you will not enjoy every moment with your new baby.
And that’s a good thing and it’s perfectly okay. In our classes we spend a lot of time discussing what life with a new baby can be like. We discuss the sleep habits of newborns and how those probably won’t match up with your expectations of them. We discuss breastfeeding difficulties and the realities that new mothers might face when at home on maternity leave feeling a bit isolated and a lot lonely. The chorus of “make sure you enjoy every moment” does nothing but add to the guilt and sadness someone might feel if they aren’t feeling this way.
Because guess what? Having a new baby can be pretty hard some days and then other days you just can’t enjoy it even if you try. Because maybe your baby won’t nap, or your friends are all going for drinks after work and you’re still not ready or able to leave the baby for long periods.
There will be blissful days, don’t misunderstand us.
There are days where you will say “wow- this is amazing. How incredibly rewarding and beautiful it is to raise this tiny and gorgeous little human.” You will post a million photos online, and you’ll enjoy discussing someone else’s bowel movements. In fact, it will give you JOY to talk about poop. We swear. Life will be so good some days you won’t even be able to believe that you are that lucky.
But, sometimes when Jess and I drop a particular piece of information about the newborn stage we might even jokingly say “And, don’t forget- ENJOY EVERY MOMENT!” with a silly grin on our faces because sometimes all you can do is laugh at the ridiculousness of parenthood and how unprepared we can be even after reading all the books and taking all the classes.
It’s okay to want to skim through those Facebook comments and mumble to yourself “these people are nuts. My shirt has spit-up on it, my baby cried through the entire checkout at the grocery store, and I forgot to buy toilet paper. I am not enjoying this today.”
Know that you’re not alone. Tons of other parents are out there rolling their eyes at this advice too. We’re all in this together!
Join us to find out more about how you can enjoy each and every nanosecond of life with a new baby! We can’t wait to meet you.
